Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Chinese Boys X Not my Kind: Reasons as Described

I found myself quite incompatible with

Chinese boys, at least

those I bumped into and

I wondered why

 

Then I realize that

it's the different parts of

Chinese-ness that don't match each other

just like jigsaw puzzles that don't fit in

 

The typical Chinese boys who are

quite Chinese per say

they look Chinese,

they speak Chinese languages

they eat Chinese food

 

unfortunately,

neither of the above are

my kind of things

 

I neither look Chinese

not very 100% and

easily mistaken for all sorts

 

I don't blame them

neither do I feel offended

I take pride in myself

especially my tanned skin

 

I don't speak Chinese languages

on a daily basis

probably due to my environment

only occasionally with

intimate long-known contacts

on a private sphere

 

Or when i am traveling

in these Chinese cities

then I will be conversing in

perfectly accent-free clean Mandarin

whereby they can't even guess

where am I from

 

I don't really eat Chinese food

to me, it's like

one of those international cuisines

it's fine to eat it once in awhile

but I will soon get sick if

I am made to eat

rice and dishes every single day

 

in addition,

I don’t even celebration Chinese occasions

not even Lunar New Year

I found it boring, even

 

Yet some part of me

(mostly the none physical sides) are

really really deep-rooted to Chinese that

those Chinese boys found me

a little extreme and difficult

it may even ignite fights

 

Eg: I am pretty much into

exploring the mainland cultures,

its cities and people

 

therefore traveling around China is

something I am keen on

yet

 

there are quite some Chinese boys

who downright reject exploring China

they are saying there’s one country

they would never step their foot onto

the mainlanders are someone they dislike

 

Wtf! 

you have not seen how beautiful it is

and downright rejection is just

wrong wrong wrong

and you actually claim yourself to be

a Chinese while refusing to explore

the root of all Chinese cultures

 

of course I wouldn’t say it out loud

right in their faces but

I look down on their ignorance with

contempt and pity

 

and yet they are watching

the mainland singing reality show ya

oh yeah…

 

therefore I would

rather date someone who is

non-Chinese but respect the

culture and belief of

the Chinese and China as a whole

without having the need to

practice it for real

 

this identity confusion thing

has been my great struggle recently

I am not really into this Chinese identity

yet there’s this segment which

I am vehemently passionate about  

somehow totally incompatible with

the so-called typical Chinese boys around

 

therefore… forget it

for real