Wednesday, October 28, 2009

如果,決定要幸福

吳淡如:

我其實是個膽小又想很多的人,

也常因一時衝動做錯許多選擇,

受了不少罪以後,

漸漸的,我學會在碰到人生的大小難題時,

用簡單的道理思考,自己應該要如何應對才好。

我有一些「如果──那麼──」的簡單原則,

有助於幫自己在混亂時平定心情。

好幾次,這些簡單想法使我在經過驚濤駭浪時,

心裡仍有個錨,使我不致翻覆。

*

這些原則,最原始來自於一個比我年輕得多的女子。

我只記得當時,她是一個初出茅廬的明星。

出道不久,被記者們寫的都是有關感情的負面新聞,

有些不實的醜聞還會造成家人對她的不諒解。

*

她經歷過了一段決定是否要退出自己喜愛的行業的猶豫期,

每天想著:「他們怎麼那麼壞?要那樣寫我?

為什麼?有人為我主持正義,這不公平……」

成日躲在家裡不敢見人。

*

「在我最痛苦的時候,我那?唸過多少書的媽媽,

對我說了一句話。

她說,她只知道,

如果要進廚房,就不能怕油煙。」

*

於是,她明白了,

如果她決定要走這個行業,

那麼,她就得決定要忍耐這一路必有的風雨與蚊蠅之聲。

*

她告訴自己,如果要走向目的地,

那麼,她只能將路邊的騷擾降到最低,

不需要花時間和那些不公平打架。

「如果──那麼」是最容易思考的邏輯。

在我們惶惑時,我們多半只能聽進的簡單邏輯。

我也發展出了一些簡單的「如果──那麼」的原則,

提供自己處理大大小小的波折……

*

如果恐懼是無用的,

那麼只得讓自己被恐懼的影響降到最低。

*

如果抱怨是無用的,

那麼就不需要浪費時間。

*

如果無法逃避,

那麼就得勇敢面對。

*

如果決定接受,那麼不管你如何咬牙切齒,

也得決定忍耐。

*

如果有個疑問,你明知一輩子也想不通,

那就不該一直被它糾纏。

*

如果靠別人反而麻煩,你最好靠自己。

*

如果你真心想要一些東西,你就得付出代價。

*

如果你想要達到目的地,一定得忍受過程。

就像接受針療法一樣,如果痛是不可避免的,

那麼我就得接受。

*

有關人生種種機運,我們常找不出原因,

也不能決定結果,但可以決定過程。

就算不能決定過程,

也可以決定自己用什麼心情來度過這個過程。

*

如果決定要幸福,那麼,就不要受干擾,

打點起精神,看著你的目的,

盡量對自己微笑,走完你要走的過程。

*

Pre-Exam Shopping

at noon when passed by Central Forum

saw loads of clothes booth

*

went with 2 classmates after class to

check out the bazaar

it’s the season again

pre-going home shopping spread

they are for my sis, of course

*

doing some tailoring work

modifying my dress

around the chest

there is an elastic band

i was almost suffocated

removed it

PA285174

*

the first item i bought

from Unicode 

PA285200

*

then they left for library

i went another round

hunting for more

*

this is the one i modified

two are of similar motif

but different style

this is tight cutting

PA285195

*

mom, this is all for you

PA285204 

*

fair enough

one for sis

one for mom

and the last one leftover for myself

*

destress for awhile

then keep going

FYI

it’s has been 25 days since i last shopped

*

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

無奈…更多的無奈

這個拜六不能在家吃午餐啦

這個拜六不能在家吃午餐啦

這個拜六不能在家吃午餐啦

*

要留下來做作業到中午

*

上個禮拜

從九點半做到六點

半條命了

還以為這個禮拜能夠早上六點啟程

飆回家

誰知道

*

而且我的隊友上個禮拜

還說了一些

我聽了很難堪的話

*

“週末我們學校很多外國人

當然啦﹐他們沒有地方去

都在學校讀書”

*

我心如刀割

這個禮拜還要留下

跟同樣的人

做同樣的東西

*

剛才很有衝動要跑回家

明天才回來

和 CKS 同學吐了苦水

冷靜了下

吃零食來麻醉下

在這裡涂鴉涂鴉

*

還有三天多

應該很快吧

*

真的忍無可忍了 

讓我回家關上門

不再面對這個世界吧 

*

從這個在兩小時裡面

PA275164

*

變成了這個

PA275166

*

Stephelle Kitchen: 27 Oct Issue

星期五

簡單的飽足感

PA225072

*

油菜

PA235085 PA235086 

*

百無聊賴

那部不久以前的劇

麥提爽的橙

PA235090PA235092

*

惺忪的星期六早上

應該很悠閑

卻要去學校趕作業

九點到六點

誰受得了

來些能量先吧

家傳果醬和

傳統的白蘭他

何不對自己好一點呢

PA245100

*

回來已經六點了

八點還有舞蹈

隨便的干撈面線

三芭不敢下太多

有辣椒的日子真好

PA245102

*

星期天的早飯

薏米綠荳蒜地瓜

PA255105

*

星期天晚上

讀了一些書

還是在想家

動動腦筋

就有西餐吃了

*

Macaroni Salad

濃濃的美乃滋

添了一份罪惡感

但是還是忍不住

舔了舔嘴角

PA255120 

*

沙拉很像份量太少了

偷吃了一些

預備給拜一早上的三寶糖水

PA255130

*

過了七小時的豆豆

都滾豆爛熟了

兩種我都愛

PA265141

*

星期二繼續來道三寶養生湯吧

PA275147 PA275153

*

壓力來襲的時候

恨不得立即沖回家

冷靜下吧

來點新鮮的吧

PA275157

*

台灣帶回來的

很好吃下

媽叫我配粥吃

免了

直接了當

爵了七八片

*

有點像那種以前的小零食

一支一毛的沙爹魚片

100g = 283Kcal

停手吧

PA275160 

*

但是嘴巴還是很不聽話

挖掘了另外一樣零食

我的最愛

吃了還可使眼睛明亮

PA275164 PA275161

*

Friday, October 23, 2009

Khalil X Jam, Super Cute

the two albums i been listening to relentlessly

Khalil’s 《Timeless Classical》

Jam’s 《Princess》

*

20091013【娛百】好友音樂會 / 方大同 蕭敬騰

glad to see both of them appearing on the same TV show

to promote their new albums

*

long sleeve x jeans x sneakers 帥!

however i feel that their hairstyles weird weird one

don’t know why

too old skol

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Stephelle Kitchen: 蠔香粥

糙米泡了差不多一天

粥熬了九小時

香菇和蠔干的香味四溢

青脆的菜

除了

色香味俱全

我想不到另外一個更加恰當的形容詞了

*

一面看《宮心計》

一邊吃著綿綿熱騰騰的粥

乃人生一大樂事

Oyster + Mushybonus: vegie + anchovies yumyum

*

中秋小插曲

我昨天洗米的時候

遇見了 Mak Cik

問她我給她的月餅

她有沒有吃

她說好吃

*

她說糙米對糖尿病人有益

但是她不喜歡那個口味

“硬蹦蹦而且淡而無味”

*

我告訴她

以後混白米去煮

就很容易煮了 口味也比較好

不然就像我這樣泡了一段時間才煮

*

己所不欲無施於人

我不要增磅

就把月餅孝敬她

她有糖尿病

豈不是個殺手?

*

媽媽是幫凶

我沒有要月餅

再三拒絕帶來

她偷偷放進我的包包

*

但是主要還是要報答她

那天馬來人新年給了我糕餅

那天雖然給了她八包糖餅

但是還是覺得有欠誠意

(又是糖….)

*

我很久之前隨口問她

佳節有沒有做糕餅

怎麼知道過了很久

她還記得

過後我們就成了好朋友

*

月餅象征團圓分享

希望她也能感染一份喜悅

血糖沒有爆升

 her cookies for me Special Pineapple Cake.. lol me and makcik

*

我中秋節的時候

已經吸入很多脂肪了

so much so fat just taking random bites

*

Don’t Wake Me

On Sunday night i had this long dream

all the details were so clear

interesting…

can’t help it but write it down

bcos i afraid one of these days

i will forget

*

i was in a metallic Honda City

with two guys

the two guys were nerdy, fair looking,

one of them are in a bright colour shirt

on my way to Singapore

then the car broke down

*

mechanic was called to repair the car

i was napping

while waiting for the repair

i saw dad

then the mechanic said that

the car couldn’t continue its journey for the day

*

Interpretation:

the only possible interpretation is

i have carpooled with an engineer and his wife

but from Singapore back to Melaka

both of them are fair

and he is driving a Honda Civic

/

so i went home

hesitating whether to travel via bus

or wait till next morning

but i refused to wait

because for two weeks

i been going back on Monday morning

and applied for half day leaves from work

*

Interpretation:

(this is absolutely real, it happened to me)

*

then i went for some friends outing

i don’t know what place is that

like a bus terminal or a mall

i took photo for my friends

while they squeezing on a staircases

i reminded one of them that

not to drop my camera

i saw a few familiar faces

two guys who are my classmates

*

and a few girls too

i wanted to camwhore with Sue-yin

then Xue Chee and Pei Chin

then also Sharon

*

Interpretation:

but it can’t be

Sharon is my primary school friend

she is not supposed to be there

maybe the link here is

she happened to be Xue Chee’s uni coursemate

so she appeared in the wrong scene

*

then everyone else was wearing nice clothes

except me

i was wearing an adidas short pants

with a loose shirt from club / event

i kept thinking that i only have one hour

to stay with my friends

because i have to go back to Singapore

*

Interpretation:

i don’t have any Adidas pants for real

maybe this scene is linked to the photo

i showed to Sue-Yin in the aftnoon

i was in a society shirt and Nike short pants

regarding the one hour period,

usually when going out with friends

i was the first to get call from home

i always has the shortest break too

*

then i asked my friends to go

check out the new boutique

opened by my aunt

*

Interpretation:

this is real, my aunt just opened a new boutique

and i have told Sue-Yin and Pei Chin

that we gonna go check it out soon

and i just saw my aunt in the evening

via webcam

she paid mom and dad a visit

*

but the strange point is

we ended up in some Malay boutique

browsing through some scarves

*

Interpretation:

i have never entered a Malay boutique

the possible interpretation is

there are loads of Malay boutiques

at the bus terminal, Sentral

*

i just hope that time flies

and i miss the bus and need not go

then later i switch my mind

i have to go back

to face the reality

so i told my mom and sis

we have to go now

(no longer with my friends)

*

i run to the ticket booth

the people are shouting

8pm bus

it is already 8.05

and i rush to the bus

it is a Jebat bus

*

Interpretation:

this always happens to me

catching bus at Larkin, JB

*

i am wondering whether i will reach Sg in time

maybe i will have to take cab

public transports would have been ended

when i reach

*

Interpretation:

this happened to me once

it was National Day this year

too many people

i took 5.30 p.m. bus from Melaka

reached Jurong East after 12

the MRT service terminated there

and last bus had left

helplessly, I walked to a bus stop,

hailed a cab and went back

it was already 1 a.m.

*

then mom and sis follow me

sis is helping me with two huge luggages

one is LV and another Coach

i keep telling sis that i don’t want to bring luggage

because it is very inconvenient

and branded luggage makes me

a potential victim for robbers etc

*

Interpretation:

i just browsed some Coach Wristlets

in the evening

because sis jus gave me one

two weeks ago

*

so the dream came to an end

it’s so real

sometimes scenes in dreams

appear later in real life

the only scene

that i hope will come true is

LV and Coach

*

but there is one thing for sure

i miss home too much

everytime i come back to Singapore

is with A heavy heart

i just want to be home

be with my family

and take a decent nap

and to meet my friends

*

help me……

the days are still very long

i am not even sure

when is my next trip home

*

Sunday, October 18, 2009

蔡鍔與小鳳仙

poster 

*

我終於看完了

昨天三集一起

因為拜一有《宮心計》和《富貴門》

兩部重頭戲要上演了

得快馬加鞭

*

一方面

這部戲到尾端也有少許高潮

雖然不是很激昂很壯烈

像內地的”走向共和”那一種

但是我總是覺得這部卻

多了一份人性的美感

*

戲的開場有點悶

蔡鍔與小鳳仙真正的開始

莫逆天的掙扎

這些在尾端才出現

*

我領悟了一點點道理

凡事都別看得那麼執著

正如星雲大師贈送給翁總的那一句

有的人上台容易,下台難,

有的人上台不願意,下台很容易,

*

喜歡一樣東西

並不代表要擁有它

*

雖然和真正的歷史有出路

但是不妨一看

*

Saturday, October 17, 2009

自我滿足

4月27日出生的人是〔火星‧隱士〕

代表人物:摩斯(電報發明人),

盡忠職守,執行能力非常強;

喜歡居於幕後,幫助別人獲得成就;

期望成為有用的人,而非有名的人;

具有很好的技術能力。

*

優點是默默努力,不爭功,

也不嫉妒別人的成就,知足不貪心。

*

缺點是魯莽衝動,

對事情太認真、太嚴肅,

放鬆不下來。

*

大體而言,

4月27日出生的人,

除非被徵召或強迫,

通常都在幕後工作。

他們並不期望擔任領導的角色;

*

相反地,最令他們快樂的事,

就是不受幹擾地善盡職責,

窩在一個安全的地方,

專注地做好分內的事。

*

可想而知,

這種人並不向往繁複的社交生活,

通常必須在一個特定團體裡

(如學校、工作場所、教學等等),

他們才能與別人侃侃而談。

*   

這天出生的人即使

沒有親自擔任各種事務,

也會讓人感受到他們的存在。

*

這些人有很強烈的影響力,

舉凡他們的想法、發起的活動,

甚至單單是他們的形影,

都會讓周圍的事物動了起來。

因此,在單獨的活動中,

他們從未感到寂寞。

*

難得的是,

他們也不會嫉妒

那些受大眾歡迎的人物,

以及家裡或朋友眼中的寵兒。

*   

這些人追求的是自己能盡所長,

兢兢業業要做好分內的工作,

根本沒空去理會那些

世俗的批評或讚美。

*

他們認為只有自己才最瞭解自己,

正因為太瞭解自己了,

所以究竟是成功或失敗,

並不需要外人的評估。

*

這一天出生的人有一種罕見的才能,

不但能將偶發的失敗處理得很好,

也總能從以前的錯誤中吸取教訓,

大而無畏的朝下一個計劃挺進。

*

4月27日出生的人需要隱私,

而且希望單獨、不受幹擾的工作。

在人際關係以及

家庭活動(如教養孩子)方面,

他們能把一切處理得宜。

*

下班以後,他們喜歡

在家裡與另一半和孩子,

或是任何人享受寧靜的夜晚。

如果是家庭主婦,家就是他們的城堡;

彷佛只要在家裡,

任何需求都能獲得充分的滿足。

*

正因他們對自己全然的忠誠與奉獻,

他們也要求別人忠誠與全然的奉獻。

*

這天出生的人必須注意,

不要變得退縮、憤世嫉俗或怨天尤人。

這類的人常常會舉止粗魯、不拘小節。

*

若能讓他們在社會中

找到喜愛的發泄方式,

或者磨掉性格中棱角,

就能開啟一段必要的社會化過程。

如果沒有,他們可能就會

鬱鬱寡歡地終老一生。

*

4 月 27 日出生的人

經常具有非常熟練的專業技能,

江且清楚地知道自己的底線在哪里,

能力又是如何,

很少錯估自己的實力。

*

然而,他們卻可能因為

對自己的要求太高,

加上情緒不夠成熟,

或是因為太壓抑自己的感情

結果會突然爆發出

具毀滅性的情緒,而把別人嚇跑。

*

這種人脾氣雖然不容易發作,

但是一旦發飆,大夥兒可得走著瞧了!

總之,4月27日出生的人

這種毀滅性的力量,是值得注意的。

*

在這一天出生的人,

應該找一些能幫助他們放輕鬆的朋友。

開懷大笑、別太嚴肅,

對他們來說很重要,

例如找那些心靈自由開放又

風趣的知心朋友。

*

幸運數位和守護星 :

4 月 27 日出生的人受到

數位 9(2+7=9)以及火星的影響。

數位9對其他數位有很強的影響力。

任何數位加上 9,產生同樣的數位;

5+9=14,4+1=5;

任何數位乘以9也會產生9:

9*5=45,4+5=9,

*

因此 4 月 27 日出生的人

對周遭的人有很大的影響力。

火星是強而有力的行星,

代表著男性的力量,

但是在這裡卻因為

金牛座的主實行星(金星,

帶著女性的活力)的調和,

而柔和不少。

*

因此,4 月 27 日出生的人有獨特的機會,

將男性與女性的特色加以整合起來。       

*

健康:

4 月 27 日出生的人要謹防

土星的影響(依塔羅牌的隱士牌所顯示),

其中包括情緒低落,

以及骨頭和牙齒的毛病。

*

後者可能會對這天出生的

產後或停經婦女有所影響,

前者則可能是 4 月 27 日出生的男性,

在工作上遇到挫折之後的附帶結果。

在晚年,耳朵、聽力和

雙耳平衡的問題都可能產生。

*

更重要的是,

在這一天出生的人

應該試著讓自己快樂,

因為歡樂或許是最佳的良藥。

*

4 月 27 日出生的人在家裡會很快樂,

特別是在廚房裡。

雖然偶爾也會上館子吃飯,

但是一般在這天出生的人都

願意把廚房弄得舒適,

成為令人滿意的避風港。

*

在這一天出生的人無論男女,

都會是個好廚師。在準備三餐時,

他們也會很嚴肅的考量飲食的內容。       

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建議:

試著多和社會接觸。小心別孤立自己。

督促自己從事精神方面的改進。

切記不要將自己的價值觀

強行加諸別人身上。

別拘泥於常規。

不要讓自己長時間悶悶不樂。       

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名人:

摩斯(SamuelF.B.Morse)

電報和摩斯電碼的發明人,

也是肖象畫家。

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臺灣文化學者陳奇祿。

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臺灣歌星李翊君,

代表作《苦海女神龍》。

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英國演化論哲學家史賓塞(Herbert Spencer),

“社會達爾文主義”的倡導者,

主要著作為《綜合哲學體系》9卷。

*

柯瑞塔金恩(Coretta King)

美國政治活躍分子、歌手,

是黑人民權領袖

馬丁路德金恩(Martin Luther King)的妻子。

*

瑪麗沃史東克拉夫特(Mary Wollstonecraff),

活躍於 18 至 19 世紀英國政壇,

女性主義作家,著有《女權辯護》,

她也是《科學怪人》作者

瑪麗雪萊(MaryShelly)的母親。       

*   

塔羅牌:

大秘儀塔羅牌的第9張是“隱士”,

他提著一盞燈、拄著拐杖,

代表冥想、孤立與寂靜,

象徵智慧的結晶及絕對的紀律。

*

隱士是嚴厲的導師,

他運用良心使人走上正途。

*

牌面正立時代表

有所堅持、有目標、深沉且專注;

牌面倒立表示專斷、不易原諒他人、

多疑以及氣餒。

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靜思語:

即心即佛。      

*

優點:

自我滿足、虔誠奉獻、中庸。

*

缺點:

退縮、太過嚴肅、自我壓抑。

*

http://www.kaifook.com.hk/birthday/04-27.htm

*

Nike Backpack Hunt

that day i saw this girl carrying

this pink nike backpack

very much reminded me

of a foolish act i have done

in the craze of shopping

PA134927

*

this whole series of funky, colourful backpack

is known as  Nike Bag All Access Halfday

image image image
*i

saw it at Melaka before i went to India

a pink, floral one (not in photo)

Sue-yin offered to help me

to get this bag for cheaper price

because she got some connection

who runs a Nike retailer shop

*

kept track of the progress with her

while i was at India

and the result was negative

she couldn’t  get it

*

then i was thinking about the bag so badly

that i sms-ed my dad from India

asking him to go check out the bag for me

*

poor dad

i sent the sms around 7pm

Malaysian time was around 9 pm

and he rushed to check out the bag for me

*

then he decided not to buy it

because it didn’t seem like a good choice

very small, thin

his description

“a plain bag,

the Nike tag is the one which elevates the price”

*

thanks dad

muackzz

you save me from another wrong choice made

then i met him…

*

my good old (only 4 months old) sturdy PC

although it costs more than the Nike

but it’s more practical

it’s a laptop bag

uncomplicated designs

comfortable shoulder support

it is the one which carry

all the foods and love from home

across the JB-SG link

ScreenShot129 

*

p.s.

after i have taken this photo

then i realized this girl was wearing short skirt

and i was taking it while

walking on ascending staircase

i would have been charged

if someone caught me taking this

*

Stephelle Kitchen: The Green Days

in conjunction with my diet plan

was solely on green meals

for the whole of last two weeks

*

this week it was elevated

no starchy food at all

boiled vegie

fruits

wholemeal bread

barley & green beans

no snacks at all

*

p.s.

at time i can’t help it

but to apply some mayo on my vegie

or margarine on my bread

have to finish those things

before they turn sour right…

*

I had  strong objection

to bring snacks from home

however, my mom put a mooncake in

without me realizing

after i unpacked my stuffs

only i realized there were some unapproved stuffs

mooncake and some Taiwanese snacks

i gave the mooncake away to the mak cik

*

loots in the fridgeall the cruchy vegies final product with a fish ball  have it driedwith anchoviesjust soup

*

keep it up

before you run out of pants to wear

look at the waist, the tummy, the thighs and the arms…

fats all over

*

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Driven into Insanity

it’s has been awhile…

i am still struggling

*

growing fatter and fatter

all pants are tight than ever

getting lazier and lazier

*

it’s already week 9

i had only spent 2 Sundays in the dorm

one was before essay due

one was before mid-term exams

the rest, i was having fun shopping or at home

*

it was terrible

when i was staring blankly into the paper

looking at the clock

didn’t know how to solve

a single question for Micro

12 out of 30 marks, all gone

*

it was even more terrible

when i could nap for almost 4 hrs

yet still slept at 10pm at night

*

i hate the sight of books

just don’t feel like studying anymore

and have came up with the permanent solution

that i won’t do Honours year

but if i am continuing to fall deeper into the slump

the choice is not on me

i won’t even qualify to do Honours

*

i just want to finish my uni asap

and go out to work

fulfil the 3 years tuition grant thingy

repay the loan

save money for my projects

and that’s all

*

i tried to motivate myself

but none of the methods worked

told my parents the truth

i have given up hope on myself

*

2 1/2 sems to go

just strive on

don’t give up hope

because i am already half-way through

don’t waste your time

and end up with nothing at all

*

please wake up…

*

Friday, October 2, 2009

PEST – Post Exam Shopping Treatment

exam is finally over today

after my experiment at Biz 

another half an hour to kill

before my Geog meeting

went around browsing lo

*

actually i am still under Bankruptcy order

but but…

two beloved persons have conferred me

the honour of shopping on behalf of them

so i wasn’t really shopping, ok

eyes cathing double storey flora

*

my loots

a floral top

this is the first time i got this design

it can be halter-neck or spag

so cool

even Roxy doesn’t have this

*

and another dress

oh my, now  i don’t feel like giving them up

*

dear Sue-yin

maybe these will be the prototypes

for you to choose

then i buy for you again next time

or or

you can insist you want them

and i will pass to you next week

*

dear Sis

if i remember correctly

you have stolen two of my summer dresses away

and i have never seen you wore

not even once

maybe these are not what you are looking for

you want matured-looking that kind right

*

so so…….

these two dresses will be mine

unless…

Sue-yin you insist you want them

*

i don’t know

i am confused

baby blue can be transformed in to a halter neckslightly blue too

*

then later went for meeting

i was early

or rather they were late

actually i was left with 4 bucks

but what’s bad about Science Foyer Bazaar

is that the ATM is jus there

mostly are smart casual

*

bought two somehow matured

not-so-summer

not-so-sexy

chic dress

 high waist one piece

*

and this one

i don’t know what to call this

is it a jumper

a halter neck one

 2 pieces dungarees

*

i am a satisfied girl today

setting aside the exams result

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