Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Curse like Villain X Laugh like Children: New Balance

Sleep

Then:

used to make sure that

I have at least 7 hours of sleep

or else I get quite grumpy

 

Now:

now any duration of sleep will do

no matter how late I sleep

I still wake up automatically by

5:30 anyway

if sleep is definitely insufficient

I will sleep in the office then

during lunch hour

after munching my

bread/cookies/chocolate

 

Social

Then:

I used to be quite anti-social

never mingle alone

except the few persons

I trust and know and would like to

have them as my friends

 

Now:

I am quite sociable at work

laughing with the gang

chilling out with the boys

gossiping with the “sisters”

 

yet still quite anti-social on

personal sphere

I go for grocery shopping on

a solo basis, still

 

but I no longer hide myself in the room

since I am sharing room with two others

I am like the one who

spent most time at the living room

that’s basically like my room

since my everything

from wardrobe, desk to computer

are at the living room

 

everything of mine

except the bed is in the room

a stark contrast to the girls

who shut themselves in the room

door is always closed

 

I don’t get it

why can’t they even leave the door ajar

well.. I used to do that too

door is tightly closed 24/7

 

Breakfast

then:

I used to believe in

a cup of hot chocolate is the way

to kickstart a day

no matter how busy you are

and some wheatmeal bread

would be good and

I insist of having breakfast at home

before heading out

that’s the way of life

 

now:

hot drink is too time consuming

so I blend cold shake instead

and no bread or whatsoever solid food

just the cold drink will do

I even leave my loaf of bread

at the office

so that I can eat it

whenever I am hungry

 

Appearance

Then:

no make-up

no heels

and I thought I could

go on being so carefree

and live happily ever after

 

Now:

finally succumb to the

“peer-pressure”

ain’t no ordinary peer-pressure if

it’s given from

those above your hierarchy

so make-up is a daily routine

so is heels

 

Family

Then:

was a home girl

and was going home so often

like insisting to go home

every single week

despite of the “peer-pressure”

 

Now:

I have not even talked to my family

for one month or so

due to some issues

I can’t really explain in

a couples of lines

Without Shelter X Can Do Even Better: Dear Father

 

but let’s just face it

I am moving on

with(out) them

because I am just too tired

 

all I wanna do for weekend is

wasting some time at the kitchen

taking long naps to

repay my sleep debt

 

I didn’t even tell my mom

I am not working today

she asked if I am still busy

I answered: yup

-the end-

 

Online shopping

Then:

I resisted online shopping

and insisted on physical store purchase

except CDs and books

 

Now:

I no longer buy physical CD and books

and I shop for anything under the sun

clothes especially

the ban has been long broken

 

then I rephased it this way

yes I do buy online

only from the official store

not random online seller

 

no..

that’s not even true

I even bought my watch

from random seller in a

FB community page

 

I gonna meet

the watch tomorrow hopefully

hey.. in few hours time

 

Cursing

Then:

I only cursed when

when I was really in dire frustration

which didn’t happen that often

once in a blue moon maybe

and even in writing

I avoid using the F* word

as much as I can

 

Now:

I use the F* word in conversation

like so naturally

every now and then

I even scolded someone with that

right in her face

 

but I make a vow

not to use it verbally

since two days ago

 

hey this gonna

scare my future bf away

that’s what I have been

telling myself

so don’t use it, k

unless you are

really really mad with something

 

Laughing

Then:

I used to suppress laugh

because I think it’s not lady to

LOL in the public

quite unglamorous 

 

Now:

who cares about being lady

if I can curse,

(nay.. stop the cursing shit)

why can’t I laugh carefree-ly

under the sun

 

the other day

I was walking with a friend

he was asking

who gave you this

referring to some food

I was holding

 

I gave out a buffaw

and said:

my secret admirer

 

maybe mentioning of him

is really making me really happy

 

and the guy was like

I bet he is jealous

yes he is

 

he was like:

hey why are you

laughing like this

you gonna scare the boys away

 

#DIC

do I care?

 

Conclusion

so is that a

good or bad direction

I am driving myself into

not that I have a choice

I am doing my best to stay afloat

 

but no kidding

I am feeling quite great now

it seems that I am achieving

something new everyday and

exploring new aspect of

myself and things around

 

with the frequency that

I am updating my blog

you can see how

ideas come flowing in

and I have to somehow

capture them before

they give the slip

 

there’s no turning back

that’s for sure

 

p.s.

no worries

I won’t resort to

smoking or drinking

to deal with the gush of pressure

 

first and foremost

I can’t even afford these hobbies

secondly

my vegetarianism has been

so there’s no way

I wanna ruin my health by

doing something in

the opposite direction

 

but I do pretend I smoke

no, this was not inspired by

the protagonist of

《The Fault in Our Stars》

 

to take time off my

highly pressurized environment

hanging out with smoker at

the corridor or sometimes

just me alone

looking at the world going by

 

blogging at the balcony

at wee hour

good one

keep it up, Steph

hanging out at the balcony