TO…

i sent you that text 

because i am really dying to find out

whether you really care for me

just a Y/N will do

and i am damn serious about it

*

but it really pissed me off

when you replied

“what happened to you”

“did that guy send this to you”

*

ok forget about about it

if you are not going to answer

by now,

i think the answer is pretty obvious

*

now i know

even if i die tomorrow

nobody will be bothered

there won’t even be a mourning lover

just some fake condolences

and more gossips

*

this is the reason i am blogging like mad

because if i really die tomorrow

at least i have left my words behind

but come to think that

nobody will even be bothered to read

i might as well delete it away

it is just wasting unnecessary space on the internet

*

i know how

i have been squandering money

i have been fooling around

all my life

so even if i die tomorrow

it will only be another joke

*

listen

i am not madly in love with you

just that the idea

to have you as my boyfriend is not bad

and hanging around with you

is not annoying

as some other guys are

*

and at one point of time

i am even convinced that

maybe it will eventually work out fine

for me and you

so i am all willing to give it a try

*

but i am really such a moron

that i allow myself to

publicly, officially declared myself engaged

just because i think it’s fun

and my history has been

a little too empty and dry

*

but it didn’t work

it didn’t work at all

*

why am i such a bitch

it’s not end of the world

if i am all alone in this world

i went for movie alone

i went travelling alone

alone and aloof

*

i told you days ago

you were incepted into my dream

i didn’t tell you how

i would if you have asked

but since you are not bothered

it is fine

it would not make a difference

if i have told you

*

p.s.

the other day

i sent you another text

and you just ignored me

when i asked you whether you saw it

so sorry for the foolish act

so sorry for giving you the trouble

to read and delete the crap away

i was just too crazy over the movie

and you are just victimized

millions of apology

*