because i am really dying to find out
whether you really care for me
just a Y/N will do
and i am damn serious about it
*
but it really pissed me off
when you replied
“what happened to you”
“did that guy send this to you”
*
ok forget about about it
if you are not going to answer
by now,
i think the answer is pretty obvious
*
now i know
even if i die tomorrow
nobody will be bothered
there won’t even be a mourning lover
just some fake condolences
and more gossips
*
this is the reason i am blogging like mad
because if i really die tomorrow
at least i have left my words behind
but come to think that
nobody will even be bothered to read
i might as well delete it away
it is just wasting unnecessary space on the internet
*
i know how
i have been squandering money
i have been fooling around
all my life
so even if i die tomorrow
it will only be another joke
*
listen
i am not madly in love with you
just that the idea
to have you as my boyfriend is not bad
and hanging around with you
is not annoying
as some other guys are
*
and at one point of time
i am even convinced that
maybe it will eventually work out fine
for me and you
so i am all willing to give it a try
*
but i am really such a moron
that i allow myself to
publicly, officially declared myself engaged
just because i think it’s fun
and my history has been
a little too empty and dry
*
but it didn’t work
it didn’t work at all
*
why am i such a bitch
it’s not end of the world
if i am all alone in this world
i went for movie alone
i went travelling alone
alone and aloof
*
i told you days ago
you were incepted into my dream
i didn’t tell you how
i would if you have asked
but since you are not bothered
it is fine
it would not make a difference
if i have told you
*
p.s.
the other day
i sent you another text
and you just ignored me
when i asked you whether you saw it
so sorry for the foolish act
so sorry for giving you the trouble
to read and delete the crap away
i was just too crazy over the movie
and you are just victimized
millions of apology
*