Monday, August 30, 2010

Cousin, Friend or Fiend?

CKS asked me,

how come i know this girl, JW

yeah, i know her all my life

because she is my cousin

her mom and my mom are sisters

 

you may start wondering

oh then you girls should be quite close

you know, same age,

both studied at Singapore

 

no.. not at all

then you will be quite wrong

i don’t talk to her

all we say to each other

is “Happy New Year” annually

and that’s it

 

i just added her on FB recently

because she needs a job

so i introduced her to the firm

i used to work with at Singapore

so adding her is out of necessity

not out of friendship

she flunked the interview

she didn’t tell me what happened

she didn’t even once thank me

not that i want any form of appreciation

but it is just basic politeness, isn’t it

 

it is not that something happened

between me and her

in the past

 

just that i don’t talk to cousins

to be specific

all of my cousins

 

why?

because to me

cousins are spies

what ever you tell them

they will tell their mummies

and before you know it

the whole family

including your own mummy

will know how you skipped class

and hanged out at the arcade last week

 

it’s not that i really have skipped class

but i really have this bad experience

of being betrayed by cousins

when i was 6

 

we were playing together

two cousins

a elder sister and a brother

same aged as me

a “bad word” slipped out of my mouth

i couldn’t remember what was it

but at 6 years old

i don’t believe that i am that polluted

that i used the word FUCK

must be some harmless but crude words

i think

 

then the boy threatened

to go tell my mom about it

so i begged him not to

and the girl, taller than me

was stopping me with both arms opened

while the boy ran with all his might

to go tell my mom

 

great then i got penalized

onion peeling

just the outer skins

but i felt humiliated

because i was betrayed

 

i guess in these cases

mum punish their kids

not because the kids really did something very wrong

just that the spies

they deserve to see a good show

for their hard work

 

since then

i never befriend any cousins anymore

 

the boy was in the same class

during primary school

for 3 years

but we never talk at all

because he was the pet’s gang

that always sat at the front of the class

while i belonged to the back lane gang

which always hang out and talk at the back

making lots noises

 

at some points i did worry that

he will backstab me

but one fact remains

i always outperform him

so just shut up

 

being a smart backlaner

is 100 times better than

a nerdy teacher’s pet

 

and dont’ you realize

you will always have this cousin

who is in insurance or direct selling

and they are the only one

who will pay you a visit

during non Chinese New Year period

you know what they are up to

 

i have an aunty who marry

her own cousin

they are doing very well

speaking about S Class

3 storey bungalow

and sea view apartment

 

so marrying your own cousin

maybe a practical and efficient thing to do

since you know each other background so well

and you share the same pair of grandparents

wait wait

maybe their wealth

has nothing to do with marrying cousins

just for the sake of gossiping

 

by now

you may think that

i am a cold-bolded animal

yes i am

 

but haven’t u heard of the chinese proverb

“distant relatives is incomparable to

nearby neighbour”

so i  rather befriend my neighbour kids

play badminton with them

visit them on CNY, willingly

 

this is Steph’s philosophy ~ Stephysiology

 

p/s

i have tonnes of cousins

i don’t even know how many

and i don’t even recognize their faces

eldest, with son only one year younger than me

youngest, i don’t know, kindergarten perhaps

i lost tracked and count of my lovely cousins

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