Sunday, July 29, 2012

If I Should X And I Could: Then I Would

Prelude

Why is it so?

whenever I came across Optical 88

my heart can’t help skipping a beat

my secret's secret place

 

especially the one in Mahkota Parade

where he used to work

just can’t help peeping

although I pretty well know that

he is no longer working there

 

been years

I have never seen him there

wondering where is him

what is he doing

and is it going well

 

2012.03.18 Sunday

was hanging around at the bench

with my dad at Aeon mall

after a bookstore shopping

pretty empty mall at noon

 

then till

Him.. Oh my goodness

it was him walking out of Optical 88

 

damn

I have been looking for years

so all he did was got transferred to another branch

 

it has been years really, five?

he looked more matured since then

but I just can’t help staring

 

sitting and waiting

pretending to read a book

wondering when is he coming back

or he is leaving for real

 

ten minutes later…

 

12 noon

erm..

he should be going for lunch?

to washroom?

then another colleague of him walked out again

 

wait.. the guy was heading

in the direction of washroom

(from the signboard)

which is just eye-distance away

 

so definitely Mr. M was going elsewhere

okay..

it’s his smoking break, I guess

 

remember the back alley

was where he was puffing away

and I first had a crush on him

 

more then five years down the road

no positive progress in

my relationship record

hell a lot of shits which are not worth mentioning

 

finally Mr. M was back

probably didn’t realize anything

and I was hiding my camera

behind the shopping bag

but was too cowardice to snap

 

2012.07.29 Sunday

here I am again

after 3+ months

 

he was there..

nobody else but him

but with bunch of customers

100 watt melting smile

 

and I was grinning to myself

 

that feeling is real

seeing someone you really like from distant

is more than enough

and continuing on for years

though he does not even know if I exist

 

it has been awhile

since someone in reality

makes my heart to skip a beat

 

Food for Thought

I regret not adding him on Facebook

somehow

I managed to find the profile

 

can I just tell you..

how much I really like you for that long

 

if only

I should

I could

then I would

 

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