Worthy X Or Plain Silly: Feblurry

it has been some times

oh yeah

really fast indeed

 

I have been out of my permanent job

for a month to be exact

 

unemployed

nay that’s not the right word

 

I am a freelancer

*please be more firmed

and louder please*

 

but still I wake up everyday

struggling to figure out if

 

this is a period of

temporary transition or

a permanent reposition

 

there are days of

good and bad of course

 

days that you hardly get jobs

it is some quite

stressful moment of counting fingers

and rejected proposal of cooperation

 

at least they are kind enough to reject

some do not even reply in the first place

some thank you for the email

and that’s all  

 

contrasting days that

I work 2 hours to cash in 

equivalent amount of a day

stuck in a prison-like office

for at least 8 hours

 

adding insult to injury

my laptop Mr. Smith was spoilt

over and over again

that’s the worst

 

and it couldn’t get any worse when

even the good old (in fact quite slow)

desktop at home is down

 

the nightmare is over as

I have got myself a new laptop

it’s about time I guess

4 year long of service

 

yet when this happened

at the worst timing ever

it seems like the end of the world

almost…

 

for a start 

it wasn’t as bad

as I made 2/3 of

what I could have earned from

my long hours job 

 

yet there are loads

at the back of my mind

 

the trade-offs

no career advancement

no social security or whatever it is

no social life, almost zero

 

the good time such as

 

having breakfast and

doing grocery shopping during

odd hours like a retiree

 

taking shower in the evening

without turning the light on

as the sun is still shining in through

 

Sunday evening which is all mine

without invasion of Monday blue

 

oh please..

I can’t wait for Monday

as I am all recharged for new task

 

all tucked away

at the safest corner

 

yours truly

that’s me