this has been a very popular term
among my circle recently
even brought up in lecturer just now
why are people sharing and talking exceedingly
over the social network sites?
after going through the information as below
they are all so true
what the hell…
I just feel like puking
there are way too many people like this
to fit into each and every category
and even myself
is committing some of these behaviours
The following styles of attention seeking have been identified:
- Extroverted positive overt style – associated with narcissism, bragging and boasting. May also include shocking exhibitionist behavior such as streaking.
- Extroverted positive subdued style – similar but more subtle such as wearing designer clothes, wearing sexy clothes or dominating the conversation.
- Extroverted negative overt style – to gain pity and reassurance.
- Extroverted negative subdued style – making a negative statement to the world by, for example, dressing in an unusual style.
Different characteristics:
- sufferer
- saviour
- rescuer
- organizer
- manipulator
- mind poisoner
- drama queen
- busy bee
- feigner
- false confessor
- abused
- online victim
- victim
The sufferer:
this might include feigning or exaggerating illness,
playing on an injury, or perhaps
causing or inviting injury,
in extreme cases going as far as losing a limb.
Severe cases may meet the diagnostic criteria for
Munchausen Syndrome
(also know as Factitious Disorder).
The illness or injury becomes a vehicle for
gaining sympathy and thus attention.
The attention-seeker excels in manipulating people
through their emotions, especially that of guilt.
It's very difficult not to feel sorry for
someone who relates a plausible tale of
suffering in a sob story or "poor me" drama.
The saviour:
in attention-seeking personality disorders like
Munchausen Syndrome By Proxy
(MSBP, also known as Factitious Disorder By Proxy)
the person creates opportunities to be
centre of attention by intentionally causing harm
to others and then being their saviour,
by saving their life,
and by being such a caring,compassionate person.
Few people realise the injury was deliberate.
The MSBP mother or nurse may kill several babies
before suspicions are aroused.
When not in saviour mode,
the saviour may be resentful,
perhaps even contemptuous,
of the person or persons she is saving.
The rescuer:
particularly common in family situations,
(s)he's the one who will dash in and "rescue" people
whenever the moment is opportune -
to himself, that is.
he then gains gratification from
basking in the glory of his humanitarian actions.
he will prey on any person suffering misfortune,
infirmity, illness, injury,
or anyone who has a vulnerability.
The act of rescue and thus the opportunities for
gaining attention can be enhanced
if others are excluded from the act of rescue;
this helps create a dependency relationship between
the rescuer and rescued which
can be exploited for further acts of rescue
(and attention) later.
When not in rescue mode,
the rescuer may be resentful, perhaps even
contemptuous, of the person she is rescuing.
The organiser:
she may present herself as the one in charge,
the one organising everything,
the one who is reliable and dependable,
the one people can always turn to.
However, the objective is not to help people
(this is only a means to an end) but
to always be the centre of attention.
The manipulator:
he may exploit family relationships,
manipulating others with
guilt and distorting perceptions;
although she may not harm people physically,
she causes everyone to suffer emotional injury.
Vulnerable family members are favourite targets.
A common attention-seeking ploy is to
claim she is being persecuted, victimised,
excluded, isolated or ignored
by another family member or group,
perhaps insisting she is the target
of a campaign of exclusion or harassment.
The mind-poisoner:
adept at poisoning peoples' minds by
manipulating their perceptions of others,
especially against the current target.
The drama queen:
every incident or opportunity,
no matter how insignificant, is exploited, exaggerated
and if necessary distorted to
become an event of dramatic proportions.
Everything is elevated to crisis proportions.
Histrionics may be present where
the person feels she is not
the centre of attention but should be.
Inappropriate flirtatious behaviour
may also be present.
The busy bee:
this individual is the busiest person
in the world if her constant retelling of
her life is to be believed.
Everyday events which are regarded
as normal by normal people
take on epic proportions
as everyone is invited to
simultaneously admire and
commiserate with this oh-so-busy person
who never has a moment to herself,
never has time to sit down, etc.
She's never too busy, though,
to tell you how busy she is.
The feigner:
when called to account and outwitted,
the person instinctively uses the
denial - counterattack - feigning victimhood strategy
to manipulate everyone present,
especially bystanders and those in authority.
The most effective method of
feigning victimhood is to
burst into tears,
for most people's instinct is
to feel sorry for them,
to put their arm round them or
offer them a tissue.
There's little more plausible than real tears,
although as actresses know,
it's possible to turn these on at will.
Feigners are adept at using crocodile tears.
From years of practice,
attention-seekers often give an
Oscar-winning performance in this respect.
Feigning victimhood is a favourite tactic of
bullies and harassers to
evade accountability and sanction.
The false confessor:
this person confesses to crimes
they haven't committed in order to
gain attention from the police and the media.
In some cases people have confessed to
being serial killers, even though
they cannot provide any
substantive evidence of their crimes.
Often they will confess to crimes
which have just been reported in the media.
Some individuals are know to the police
as serial confessors.
The false confessor is different from
a person who make a false confession and
admits to a crime of which
they are accused because of
emotional pressure and
inappropriate interrogation tactics.
The abused:
a person claims they are the victim of
abuse, sexual abuse, rape etc
as a way of gaining attention for themselves.
Crimes like abuse and rape
are difficult to prove at the best of times and
their incidence is so common that
it is easy to make a plausible claim as
a way of gaining attention.
The online victim:
this person uses Internet chat rooms and forums to
allege that they've been the victim of
rape, violence, harassment, abuse etc.
The alleged crime is never reported
to the authorities, for obvious reasons.
The facelessness and anonymity of
the Internet suits this type of attention seeker.
The victim:
she may intentionally create acts of
harassment against herself,
eg send herself hate mail or
damage her own possessions
in an attempt to incriminate
a fellow employee, a family member, neighbour, etc.
Scheming, cunning, devious,
deceptive and manipulative,
she will identify her "harasser" and
produce circumstantial evidence
in support of her claim.
She will revel in the attention she gains and
use her glib charm to
plausibly dismiss any suggestion that
she herself may be responsible.
However, a background check may
reveal that this is not the first time
she has had this happen to her.
In many cases the attention-seeker is
a serial bully whose behaviour
contains many of the characteristics
listed under the profile of a serial bully,
especially the Attention-Seeker.
stages of attention seeking:
- Awareness
- Approach
- Escalation
- Extreme Escalation
- Catastrophic Collapse Into Autism
1. Awareness
Here, the creature (child, dog, cat, horse) first
becomes aware that the shortfall exists and
begins to look around for a likely “other”
who may fulfil this need.
2. Approach
The creature will get up and
start approaching the other and
make some minor signs that
it is in need of some attention.
In an animal,
that would probably be just
coming over and presenting themselves
whilst looking at the other.
3. Escalation
If the other ignores
“refuses to provide the attention energy”
this subtle approach,
creature A will now escalate
its behaviours to “break on through”
the barrier of ignoring –
make sounds, push physically,
engage in behaviours that
have previously worked to “gain attention”.
4. Extreme Escalation
If these higher level behaviours are also ignored,
the need turns to a pain and
will now drive consecutively
more extreme behaviour in turn
in a direct cause and effect relationship.
If the need is high enough,
the creature may even attack.
5. Catastrophic Collapse Into Autism
If still no energy is forthcoming,
the system collapses in on itself
in a catastrophic implosion which
causes severe neurological damage;
the stage beyond rage is autism,
where the creature can
no longer elicit the energy required nor
process it when it is being offered because
of the damage sustained by
the receptors of the energy processing system
during the catastrophe.
Passive attention seeking
- laziness
- depency
- tired
- shy
- fearful
- self-indulgence
- charmer
- clinger
- good looks
to read more:
The complete table of Passive Attention Seeking
Tactical ignoring,
also known as planned ignoring,
is a behavioral management strategy used
in response to challenging behavior that seeks to
receive attention or to gain a reaction from others.
