Obsession:
the domination of one's thoughts or feelings
by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc.
Eg:
stalking a particular person online
and at the same time
stalking another in the reality
this dude I stalked online
he followed me on Weibo (The Mandarin Twitter)
because we have both been following Shawn Yue
then two weeks ago
out of boredom in office
I clicked on his profile
wow.. he has got style
exactly the Shawn’s style
so we started chatting
and this particular shirt
which Shawn has been wearing
he bought the shirt for USD 420
and not only one
he bought all 3
baby blue, chambray and white
he plays
car, camera, shoes
he looks kinda cute
he has got the West vs East balance
I am impressed
so I have been clicking on his Facebook
more frequent than any ordinary friend would do
obviously he is in a relationship
although the partner named is not specified
obviously there are photos
always with the same particular girl
so hands off
just lay your hands off
what’s my problem
can’t I just see
this is like something impossible
stop stalking a Canadian rich kid
who is in a relationship
stop flirting
because it is just a waste of time
…………………………………………………………………………………………
back to real life
I am not afraid to admit
I have told the close friends that
he is cute
since very very long ago
now that everyone knows about it
the moment he walked past
everyone would have done something stupid like
nudging me, smiling at me etc
omg.. stop making it so obvious
he wears that kind of clothes I like
his smile is always so bright
he is indeed charming
and till last week
I found his Facebook profile
but I just do not have the courage to add him
what’s wrong with me
it’s just adding a new friend
but I am too afraid that
after being friends
I may just do something crazy like
PM him a love letter
or maybe the bigger reason is
I just end up browsing his full profile
oh damn it
he is already in a relationship
that doesn’t really hurt
since he is not my anybody
but in fact it actually does
I just hope that
the dark aura would just stop following me
having a crush or dating boy who is already taken
I am a bitch, somehow
but not up to the point of
stealing, sharing boyfriend with some other girls
that’s something I would never do
he is just cute
we talked twice
despite being in the same classes
four times each week
once on a event
he was teasing me
when I looked very hap hazard
tidying up my forever heavy bag
and he accidentally saw something
“oh, lunch box!!!”
so cute of him
the second
he was wearing this baby blue shirt
I wish the mutual friend is there
so that we had a better link to talk
he was dozing off I think
so was I
the academic talk was way too boring
this one looks slightly more hopeful
than the previous one
at least we are near
but..
not so near too
because he is a Malay boy
that’s nothing wrong with him
being a Malay boy
but maybe
to people around me
especially my parents and all
it really does make a lot of difference
obviously
I am crazy
probably because I can’t stand my love pond drying up
I am desperate
obviously
I fall for boys
just for the ways they dress up
not really
there are other baby blues around
a lot more in fact
but I don’t find them attractive
eg, this Korean dude
he has been wearing this shirt
for two consecutive days
but somehow
I think he ruins the baby blue
and this lazy bump
who appears once in a “blue” moon
undeniably
he looks gorgeous, somehow
but he is definitely not somebody
I will openly stalk
back to the case
then why would I find him so attractive
the way he dresses up is just
one of the contributor
he is cute
he is charming
basically I think I like him
it is that simple
what a coincidence
the first time we talked
is this movie screening thingy
where a malay girl and a chinese boy
fell in love
quite a controversial movie
dealing with religions and identity
what am I supposed to do now
I seriously do not know
FML
finding my lover