Saturday, October 2, 2010

Hidden Friends, Hidden Me

good news

at some point of time last week

I doubt if my mind has stopped

functioning in English

and I can hardly spit out words in English

due to the overwhelming

overemo Cantopop and posts

yeah… finally

 

dreams..

when days are bad

I always have dreams

and the strange thing is

my dream is really like those in 《Inception》

it’s not exactly layers and layers of dream

but I always have complicated dreams

made up of different scenes, people, storyline

usually more than three

 

it’s really torturous

waking up out of breath,

on the verge of suffocation

and more tiring than ever

wishing I have never slept at all

 

but it can at least be

something comforting

if I found myself remembering

pieces of the dream

and I shall start picking them

and make them into a complete puzzle again

haha

(lyric from Teenage Dream)

 

so scene 1

I was walking in a mall

with both of my parents

somehow I was wearing something very horrible

and I knew that a girl gang

primary maties were having a meet up there

so I tried all my might, irrationally

to persuade my parents to go home

and in that dream

I even saw myself looking into a mirror

plain grey top and

a dark blue mickey mouse skirt

OMG

 

then my mom met Sharon

my first ever bestie during primary

she walked up and greeted her

but I was hiding away

so that they wouldn’t see me

looking so haggard

 

ok.. end of the story

analysis

 

#1 gurls outing

sorry I have to betray my friends again

saw this on FB a couple of times already

gurls outing

 

four of them belonged to my gang

during primary school

I was the only one who chose to

transferred to the chinese school

instead of staying at the Convent school

and I guess that changed a lot of things

we used to be the best friends on the earth

but different directions make loads differences

 

I guess I still quite miss them

but even if they have invited me

that would be awkward

cause most probably they will be talking about

their good old Convent  times

which I didn’t have a share in

it is impossible that we can go back

to those times crazy times

going mad over Leehom Wang

I don’t even like Leehom now

 

these are the kind of friends

that shall be kept in memories

but in real life

it’s kinda tough

 

I met two girls once

while I was working at a mall

like after 4+ years

one of them I never met her

since I left primary school

my god it must be close to 10 years already

 

and the ironic part is

she stayed on the same stretch of road

“Jalan Laksamana Cheng Ho”

and just after so many years

I just found out

oh she has already moved out

and the other girl too

“Taman Laksamana Cheng Ho”

both within 1km

so close…

yet so far

 

so excited

we talked and laughed

to realize that my supervisor

was already staring impatiently

 

promised to arrange a meet up

but it will never work

trust me

one of these days,

we shall come together and catch up

but rare chances

that it would be realized

trust me

 

analysis #2

the horribly dressed up me in the dream

Carly told me an old high school mate

added her on FB

she used to be those tomboyish

the skirt always got torn

but now so shockingly HAWT…

 

that reflected back to my case

I hate when those old gangs

tagged me for high school photos

so horrible looking

I doubt if I have the courage to post it here

go dig from FB if you are dying to find out

don’t laugh, don’t ever…

 

but I was already that playful back then

and handwriting can’t deceive

already horrible

and take note of the letter “g”

2005, in 5sc1

 

when I added those girls on FB

they didn’t even know who am I

and even when we met in persons

KaiYin was like saying

“OMG how you have changed”

“Can you pass me your secret”

haha.. Botox

 

subconsciously

I want to impress these people from the past

very very much

that why in the dream

I was shunning them

although I very much want to meet them

I don’t wanna look horrible and ugly again

ever again

 

why Mickey Mouse skirt

when we were young

that’s the branded clothes, isn’t it

okay I have to admit

I was already very brand conscious

since I was a very young kid

Puma Shoes at primary school

rare Garfield sling bag to school

Reebok sweater

 

so it was not really my fault

for being who I am today

some people turned vain

due to the deprivation during childhood

for my case

haha I was cultured into it

 

but

what are these

now we have Baby Nike, Hallmark etc..

and yesterday Carly was showing me these

my Puma shoes are nothing

compare to these

toddler brands

 

waking up to find that

oh

I wore this to bed yesterday

no wonder…

Mickey pants

 

maybe this is the real me

thick glasses

Mickey pants

loose Nike tee

(see it’s still a Nike)

 

but I saw far worse people

wearing authentic Arsenal jersey

to sleep

tsk tsk tsk