Saturday, July 12, 2014

Without Shelter X Can Do Even Better: Dear Father

Dear father

what was in your mind

when you sent me text like this

3:28 am in the morning

Dear Father

 

Dear father

did you know that

I happened to be awake

and it hurts me real bad like

seriously real bad that

I spent the next two hours

feeling really really lost

 

Dear father

what have I done that

I deserved to be treated this way

I didn’t reply text the whole day

because I was really busy

on top of the pressure

 

Dear father

what makes you think that

I looked down on your wife

what have she told you about me

now I look down on both of you

absolutely

 

Dear father

I don’t mind if the whole world

do not understand me but

 

Dear father

you,

as the one I am so close with

even you can’t understand me

 

Dear father

I really feel it’s failure on my part

I have been going home so often

boasting to friends how cool my dad is

how close am I to my family

and this is what I got in return

 

Dear father

it’s a real failure on my part

please accept my sincere resignation

to be part of the close circle

 

Dear father

I am out for real

I don’t care if

I am all alone in this world

 

Dear father

and did you actually know that

these days that I didn’t go back

I survive really well outside and

I started to regret

hiding myself too much at home

 

Dear father

under the pretext of going home

I have lost so much time which

I could have better spent

with my friends and

build my own social circle

 

Dear father

it’s time for me to grow

and I am done with this

homegoing shit which

was sort of a form of escapism

 

Dear father

I have told the other

daughter of yours that

you have to pay for

what you have done to me

but retaliation is not

what I am seeking for

 

Dear father

all I want is to

let you feel sorry for

what you have done to me

perhaps for the rest of your life

 

Dear father

I have seen too much

dramas and politics

and that’s not

what I am seeking

so the only solution is

to walk away in silence

 

Dear father

thank you for all those you have done

for me in the past

including these really cruel texts

which make me stronger

 

Dear father

thank you for all the wonderful memories

which I really treasure and

now I am finally prepared to

move on as a solo traveller

yes, now that I have to

 

Dear father

nice to hear from you

and I do not look forward to

any further correspondence

in the near future

 

have a good day