Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Waking Up in Voidness

you gonna help me out

it’s all a blur last night

 

yesterday was a disaster

worse than waking up in Vegas

 

i slacked at home for the whole day

to be specific, on my bed

from morning till night

i wasn’t blogging

i wasn’t chatting with anyone

just hanging around

munching loads and loads of corn flakes

500g combo pack

 

and it was raining whole day

rain is that one thing

that easily gets on my nerves

it makes my mind goes dysfunctional

 

it’s already September

wake up from your bullshit summer

plans after plans

none has worked out

just continue to hea

 

skipped work

pretending that i am sick

i feel so ashamed to return

it’s supposed to be a-month-long part-time job

told my boss i am going for a course

so i will no longer enter work for 5 days

but another crashed plan

so i really feel ashamed to go back

 

she was very kind

even offering accommodation

just i case i am taking any course at Kay Elle

and half of the time suggesting different paths

i can try out

but that really depressed me

 

you know,

she even suggested insurance agent

that would be the last job i will take up

even if i am starving

me myself don’t even believe in insurance

it’s full of phonies schemes

c’mon

you can’t trust your life with those phonies

but they are trusting you for their

dream-house, dream-car, dream vacation

 

i right away told her

“nope i am not interested

i don’t like job that requires much talking”

 

i hate to go back to the office

telling her how my plan was crashed

and listen to more suggestions

 

till night

my parents are back home

i was already on bed at 8.30 pm

what to do

i really don’t have anything to do

if i am messing around with the laptop

we will end up getting into a fight

accusing me of fooling around

on the internet for the whole day

 

my dad tried to talk to me

but i was really that bastard that

i told him

“we have got nothing to talk at all

just leave me alone

because i want to sleep”

i just that killed him

because other than me

there is no one else he can talk to

 

he even offered to buy me a camera

that wouldn’t do any help

that is not the reason for me

to fall into such depression

even i got a new camera

toy with it for awhile

i will fall into another depression

i want to buy one with my own dough

that i really take pride in

let it be BF1, Pencil, Previous5

 

what i really want to ask them for are answers

1st… proceed to the 2nd if you hesitate for more than 30 secs

“why wouldn’t you tell me what i gonna do now??”

 

2nd… proceed to the 3rd if your answer is a NO

“why wouldn’t you just let me do what i want?”

 

3rd…just do as the question suggested if you can’t answer it

“why wouldn’t you leave me alone?”

 

thank you for your time

don’t mourn for me if i am dead tomorrow

don’t organize any funeral and invite more phonies

 

just burn the corpse and

don’t throw the ashes into the sea

it is kinda polluting

just bury it on some open space

just like how people bury their dogs

 

and plant a tree on top

so that at least if i am useless during living

i maybe slightly useful after death

nourishing a baby tree

when the tree grows

just crave my name on top

that will do

and thanks a million

 

有沒有 / 韋禮安

Turn off the radio

Turn off the lights you know

聽見了誰的痛 在空氣中

不斷跳動 又那麼沈重

Turn on your favorite song

Turn off what I did wrong

聽見了誰的傷 在窗戶旁

安靜的想 是什麼力量

 

有沒有 / 韋禮安

詞曲:韋禮安

Turn off the radio
Turn off the lights you know
聽見了誰的痛 在空氣中
不斷跳動 又那麼沈重

Turn on your favorite song
Turn off what I did wrong
聽見了誰的傷 在窗戶旁
安靜的想 是什麼力量

你 有沒有愛過我
有沒有想過我
有沒有 有沒有 也會有一點心動的時候
但是說不出口
有沒有 後悔 還是只有我

Turn on the radio
Don’t wanna care anymore
也許沒有承諾 比較輕鬆
也不會有 沈重的枷鎖

Turn off your favorite song
Just like there’s nothing wrong
也許時間一久 就會遺忘
就真的當 是誤會一場

你 有沒有愛過我
有沒有想過我
有沒有 有沒有 也會有一點心動的時候
但是說不出口
有沒有 有沒有 有沒有
有沒有
有沒有 有沒有 有沒有
Turn off my radio